boundaries Archives - Dr. Mariza Snyder

787: Are You Abandoning Yourself to Keep Everyone Else Happy? With Hilary Silver

November 3, 2026 in Podcast, Women’s Health 0

Listen to the Episode Here

Episode Summary

You’re dependable. Capable. Successful. The one everyone calls because they know you’ll handle it.

But somewhere along the way, did you learn to leave yourself behind?

In this episode, Dr. Mariza sits down with former couples therapist and women’s identity coach Hilary Silver to explore self-abandonment: the subtle ways women silence their needs, overfunction, people-please, carry everyone else’s load, and become whoever they believe they need to be to keep the peace.

They unpack why these patterns often begin long before adulthood, how they become intertwined with identity and self-worth, and why simply taking a vacation, delegating, or setting a few boundaries may not create lasting change if the underlying beliefs remain intact.

Hilary shares how women can begin questioning the “I have to” and “I should” stories running their lives, consciously choose a different identity, reclaim their time, and stop measuring their worth by how much they can carry.

Because midlife may be the moment you finally ask:

What do I actually want?

HILARY SILVER

Hilary Silver is a former couples therapist, coach, and founder of Ready for Love and Ready for More.

Her work focuses on helping high-achieving women transform their relationship with themselves, identify the beliefs and patterns driving overfunctioning and self-abandonment, and consciously create a life that reflects who they actually want to become.

In this conversation, Hilary brings more than two decades of experience working with women and relationships to a deeper discussion about identity, boundaries, self-worth, and putting yourself back at the center of your own life.

IN THIS EPISODE

What self-abandonment actually looks like in everyday life
Why people-pleasing and shape-shifting often begin in childhood
How high-achieving women can tie their worth to being indispensable
Why boundaries and delegation alone may not change deeply rooted patterns
How identity drives overfunctioning, rushing, and constantly carrying the load
Why midlife can become a powerful moment for questioning what you’re no longer willing to carry
How to challenge beliefs that feel like facts but may simply be old conditioning
Why Hilary reframes repetition as devotion rather than discipline
The question that can help you start putting yourself back at the center of your life